Posted: 5/13/2025
Good morning lovely angel (you)...yes, it's actually morning as I type. I've been busy as alwaysーnothing new to report about work, not that it'd matter, because I know you don't care about my job. That's fine. It's not particularly eventful nor interesting.
What about life?! Heh, well, nothing much happened in the life department this past month or so. 春M3-55 wrapped up the other day and I got 10 or so CDs, not as much as I wanted but a lot of online listings were for digital products only and I can't stand spending 3,000円 on something I can't rub my dick all over. Everything I bought is already listed on my music page so go check it out if you haven't already (please bro). And SupaComi (スパコミ) also ended! There wasn't that much I wanted so I got two things from a single circle and fucked off. Japanese Arknights doujin merch is really dry in my opinion and I prefer to buy stuff from Chinese fans and import it.
Mother's Day also came and went! My mom does not live in Japan so I have to kinda go out of my way to plan stuff. I ended up ordering her a pie which she loved, which gave me the title of "best son" as my bum-ass brothers didn't do anything for her. I've been a bit nostalgic for my family lately. There are Costcos in Japan so I watch grocery haul videos for recipe inspiration and it gets me feeling some kind of way...I'm getting hit with midlife sentimentality (I'm not that old yet). If you're still living with your family and you like them...treasure that time together! Even the little things! You'll miss them when you move out.
Another silly musing that spung to mind recently is how similar the indie web is to social media platforms in terms of community. A lot of NekoWeb and Neocities sites have big manifestos about abandoning mainstream internet spaces because of how capitalism is ruining creativity, general negativity, cliques, dogpiling, etc., but the way that NekoWeb incentivizes higher follower counts (in the form of being pushed to the top of the explore feed) causes a lot of similar issues to these supposedly hated SMS. Not to mention, more popularity = more clout in the NekoWeb Discord server, which is the primary method of contact with any of the development team. This fact coupled with the overwhelming amount of social aspects on NekoWeb's front page have somewhat deterred me from updating my site even though I love it and would love to work on it moreーreally, opening up NW and seeing userboxes, the "feed" and "explore" buttons is overwhelming! I also do not want to see my statistics at all on my settings page! These things defeat the purpose of my site altogether yet I feel as if it's shoved down my throat. Just some #showerthoughts...
Gulp...sorry for rambling. I do have plans and schemes for this site that should come relatively soon if I manage to break out of this creative slump. Working so hard on this site from February to April wore me out and I have to focus on other project for now, like translations or sponsoring shit. Unfortunately, I am a busy person. I was able to identify that I'm awful at relaxing and am making progress in the art enjoying myself. Two weekends or so ago, I told myself that I'd thoroughly enjoy my time as I had two full days off...and the first day went somewhat well: I managed to get through a short RPG Maker game (Saihate Station) and finished an eroge route, but after that I was so anxious after realizing I hadn't accomplished anything! So I spent the second day pacing around my room contemplating whether or not I should commit to relaxing or finish work. It was very humbling, lol.
There's an episode of TAWoG where the kids/dad are out and the mom has the day to herself, but after realizing there's nothing to do now that she's not cleaning up after everyone or cooking constantly, she starts breaking shit around the house just to make work for herself. That's lowkey me as fuck...it's definitely something I need to work on, little by little. This weekend I sat down and watched a movie with a darling friend of mine and we agreed to watch more on a weekly/biweekly basis. This is progress! Don't end up like me.
This was a lot of word vomit, huh. My mind's all over the place as I've been fasting for religious purposes. Anyways, what's on the menu for this month? I think I'll make cheese-filled beef and cabbage-wrapped onigiri. Oh, also, my TERN WinRar bag came in the mail:
Huge thanks to my friend Marx for helping me get this! And for putting up with my bullshit.
Thank you for bearing with me *hiccup* *sniffle* *gulp*...UWEEEEHHH!! ^q^ and for reading, tohoho. I'll see you next time, hopefully?